The Personal Tragedy Of Ted Haggard

One of the values that I prize in the Democratic Party is compassion. Our party - at least, in theory - is the party of tolerance, care for the weak, inclusion for all.

When Ted Haggard was brought crashing down last week, I was gleeful. Another one bites the dust, I thought, another evil preacher of bigotry, hate and intolerance exposed as a fake, a liar, a man filled with loathing. A Republican, his true nature laid bare.

I revelled in his downfall, delighted in the ongoing revelations and his obvious guilt.

It was only tonight that I finally considered the personal tragedy that has befallen Ted Haggard.

Haggard is a gay man. And yet, he is so filled with self-loathing for what he is, that he denied that part of himself. I don't know a great deal about his upbringing, but I can guarantee you this - Ted's father had no compunction about telling his boy that homosexuality was evil, repugnant, vile. Any Haggard who thought otherwise was a traitor to the human race. No pansies in this family.

Haggard was brought up to hate gays.

Imagine his torment when he discovered that he himself was homosexual. Imagine the years of repression, the extraordinary capacity for self-deceit that he had to develop in order to be the man his father wanted him to be. Is it so surprising that he should grow up to found a church in which hatred of homosexuals was a recurring theme? Of course not - the more he denied his nature, the more he hated himself for being who he was, and the more angry he grew at the people who shared his 'affliction'.

Ted Haggard is a human being, and he deserves our sympathy. I am angered by his deceit, but I also understand it. Who amongst us hasn't some secret that we've never told of? When I was six, my friend Nicky and I dropped a kitten off the stairs to his house. We broke its leg. Since then, I have loved cats beyond all reason - partly, I'm sure, because of the terrible deed I perpetrated when I was small. There, I've confessed.

I hope that Haggard finds a life after this. I hope that he is able to come to terms with who he is, and that perhaps he will use his obvious powers of persuasion and communication to connect with people based on truth in the future, rather than a lie.

As I said at the beginning, the capacity for compassion is what differentiates we Democrats from many Republicans. Whilst I am glad that yet another Republican institution has been shown to be based on lies, I am trying my best to empathize with the human being whose life has been shattered by this news.

Good luck, Ted Haggard, and may your God receive you, however you turn out.

Comments

[Charles]

Thanks for your piece about Ted Haggard. Another example of how conservative icons don’t have the stomach to eat their own cooking. He joins the list with Bill Bennett (gambling), Ralph Reed (Abramhoff corruption), and Rush Limbaugh (drugs). These charlatans choose not to follow the basic premises of our constitution since they feel especially favored by God. They would subject others to a different and more menial existence since others do not measure up to their unconstitutional standards. Adhering to civil and criminal code does have the same importance to these "men of God" - They are a danger to everyone's civil liberties. If this behavior is allowed to fester, our democracy will be subjugated by aristocratic theocracy. It must be made known everywhere that these men are not the gentlemen they imply, but snakes in the grass with a vicious self serving agenda.